Nicole Kidman Models Shoes for the Foot Fetishists of the Day

Jimmy Choo’s fall campaign stars Nicole Kidman…the robot/alien ex-wife of Tom Cruise, who happens to own a carrot pie that he probably wasn’t too into eating, because it didn’t have testicles, but that I am totally down with eating, because I’ve never had sex with an official redhead thanks to years of being disgusted by them…and karma not allowing me to get up in one now that I’ve grown as a man and accepted all shades of pubic hair, even the pubic hair that contrasts heavily with the bright pink of the vagina lips that contrasts heavily with the pasty, almost invisible skin.

I know she’s old, I know she’s clothed, I know these pics are about the shoes, something I assume at least one of you has a fetish for, a fetish so consuming you have a pair on right now….because that’s jus the kid of crowd I attract…

I blame THIS NICOLE KIDMAN PHOTOSHOOT …for the boners Nicole Kidman now gives me…

Here’s the campaign.