Monday, June 3, 2013

Exclusive – Exxxotica 2013 Fort Lauderdale Round Up of the Day


I went to two days of Exxotica , a 3 dayporn convention where pornstars and cam girls meet the fans and charge them money for autographs and conversation. Some of the girls hook on the side to supplement their income since porn isn’t as lucrative as it used to be.


There was way more to my trip than my Farrah Coverage


I learned….


1- Cam girls are the future of porn stars, they make more money, have more loyal fans, are less broken and trashy and do it all from the comfort of their home. They fuck if they want and they stay clothed if they want. It is a pretty good deal and I am now trying to recruit as many girls as I can for MYFREECAMS


2- Cam girls are like the annoying person at dinner addicted to their cell phone or internet connection, obsessed with their fans, always looking at a screen, but far less annoying, because they like being watched when they masturbate, and they are nicer to talk to than porn chicks who have egos, cuz cam girls are just everyday girls who figured out it’s better to get paid to masturbate than work at the mall.


3- Porn stars can be pretty rugged, beat up, and bratty cunts who think they are important cuz they fuck on camera for 1000 dollars a scene. They can be annoying to listen to talk because they are stupid as shit, but for the most part, even the horrible ones you know are insane, are great entertainment and that’s why we were there.


I got there pretty much when it started because I had nothing better to do and Exxxotica was the only reason we were in Fort Lauderdale so why the fuck not. In the first 5 minutes there was a stripper behind chains, a fat ass, a Hugh Hefner lookalike every idiot in the place though was Hugh Hefner even though Hefner is dead…but not as dead as the girl who passed the fuck out.



Click More To See my Coverage – WIth Pics and VINES – It’s a huge post – Get Started.



All Old White People Look The Same…



Lexi Belle and Teagan Pressly got their on time, because pictures had to be signed for 20 dollars a piece…that shit pays for a lot of Spray Tans…



One Slutty girl and a bunch of dudes attended a seminar on breaking into the biz…I guess being uneducated and broken wasn’t one of the requirements. But I’ll bet more actual pornstars got into it cuz they are broken and not cuz they attended a seminar….



This Hitachi Magic Wand Salesman and his nurse who was pretty friendly and talking to everyone…



To give random girls orgasms..for 2 days straight.



I made love to some busy girls busty tits with my mind as she jiggled them for me…in the background is one of Tiger Woods’ hooker, but when next to tits like this, she doesn’t exist…



This weekend – I became a huge Evan Stone fan, from his comedy to his dance routines – he’s more than just an aging pornstar holding on…he’s a living legend who still lures in the broken 18 year olds to fuck.


He didn’t just dance once…



He danced twice….



I learned that not all fetishes are created equally….



There were swingers…



Masturbators who didn’t want my help…



Fat girls lick ANYTHING when they are hungry



And a whole lot of fans you’d expect to see there



A pornstar was looking for male talent with the trusty post-it or lined legal paper…to match her 90 year old out of touch face



Dudes who posed with thonged asses



Dudes with hair they got in the 80s trailer park.



Daisy Destin – Who I found Out Has Done Max Hardcore Porn…..even though she’s a cam model…what can’t this country girl do…



Girls in Fishnet Who Should be in Whale net



Old Menopausal Ladies getting erotic massages – That’s Someone’s grandmother people…



Geat fashionable crowd. I felt like I was in Milan at Fashion week or some shit…



Kristina Rose….a great 90s Dancing Indian….



An Angel Sent from heaven who walked in and out of my life…just like that…



Utltimately, I came to Exxxotica for the birds. Was glad to meet all those I met….I would have stuck my tongue in more of them…but don’t need to be Michael Douglas-ed.



Remember – IF I Don’t Cum…It Don’t Count and I will come…to the next Exxxotica or at leaf the one in New Jersey…



Shout outs to my new best friends Raven Rockette , Sasha Pain , Savanna Steele and

and Daisy Destin





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