Hayden Panettiere in Underwear To Celebrate her Engagement of the Day

The fact that Hayden Panettiere has this weird cult following of virgin fan boys is weird to me, but not as weird as when I visualize her getting fucked by her 6 foot 6 boxing champion boyfriend, who could have a mico-penis, making it a comical clown car experience, something Hayden the circus freak is probably used to, but who could just easily have a massive cock that breaks her in half, reminding her of a time when her mom used her in a sex ring as a child, the way her vagina likes it.

Well, turns out they are getting married…because that’s what people do for some weird reason I’ll never understand, much like how I will never understand how Hayden has a fan base.

BUT I FIGURED I’D USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO POST

MY HAYDEN PANETTIERE ARCHIVE OF BIKINIS, BRAS, MIDGET JOKES

I like making things about myself like that….